


The Better Russian: As told by NHL Mascots

by crosbymalkin871



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Crack, M/M, NHL All-Star Weekend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-27
Updated: 2018-04-27
Packaged: 2019-04-28 11:15:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14448114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crosbymalkin871/pseuds/crosbymalkin871
Summary: Iceburgh and Slapshot fight to see who has the better Russian.





	The Better Russian: As told by NHL Mascots

**Author's Note:**

  * For [eafay70](https://archiveofourown.org/users/eafay70/gifts).



> DISCLAIMER: I am not the owner of the Pittsburgh Penguins, or are associated with anyone in the NHL. I just have a very strong imagination.

If Iceburgh’s was a real penguin, he would be nooting furiously right now.

This was something that happened every time the mascots came together to support their players during the All-Star Game. He and the Washington Capital’s mascot, a bald eagle name Slapshot, would argue about who had the better Russian hockey player.

Set up around them were giant cardboard cutouts of each of the players that are representing their teams and division. And right beside them, coincidentally, were cutouts Evgeni Malkin & Alexander Ovechkin.

It’s the first time since the 2009 NHL All-Star Game in Montreal that Geno and Ovi were there together. Crosby was supposed to be there too, but since he got injured a week or so ago in the middle of a game, he couldn’t be here. But this gave Iceburgh and Slapshot the opportunity to heckle each other properly.

And sure enough, much like their teams, the rivalry between these two mascots was getting very heated.

Their respected fans know of the feud between Crosby and Ovechkin, that’s been established since the two had first came into the league. But the fans also latched onto the Malkin-Ovechkin feud as well, as they’re not afraid to personally state who they believe is the better Russian.

Slapshot was pointing at the Ovi cutout and giving Iceburgh the thumbs up before pointing to the Geno cutout and giving him the thumbs down.

Iceburgh shook his head and gave the thumbs down motion towards Ovi, making a motion to signify that he stinks.

Needless to say, Slapshot was not happy with that. He returned the gesture by giving the loser sign to Geno. Iceberg stomped his feet at this as Slapshot laughed (if a mascot could laugh that is).

The other mascots knew better than to get involved with this sort of thing, they learned the hard way with SJ Shark and Bailey. However, that didn’t mean that one of them wouldn’t step in and give their support.

Youppi, the Montreal Canadiens mascot, had stepped in and gave his support to Iceburgh by agreeing Geno was the better Russian. If a mascot could be smug, Iceburgh would be it and Slapshot is the one who is stomping their feet.

 _Of course_ , the Habs mascot would support the penguin. 87 did grow up a Montreal fan.

This made Slapshot turn towards Stinger, mascot of the Columbus Blue Jackets to support him. Ovi and Bob were on Team Russian together internationally, so naturally the green bee…thing, would support him in this!

But Stinger shook his head no, which only made Slapshot madder. Even Bernie the St. Bernard was supporting that flightless bird!

If he could yell, he would be doing it right now. He wanted to yell to the penguin that Ovi had way more accolades that Malkin did: 3 Hart Trophies to Malkin’s 1, 3 Ted Lindsay Trophies to Malkin’s 1, not to mention the 7 Rocket Richard Trophies to Malkin’s 0.

But it seemed like Iceburgh had read his mind because he, again, pointed to Geno and held up the number 3 before raising his hands in the air like he was raising something…

3 Stanley Cups for Evgeni Malkin vs. 0 for Alexander Ovechkin.

And if a bird mascot would ruffle his feathers, no doubt Slapshot’s would be standing high.

Finally, he gave up and stormed away in a huff, to the glee of Iceburgh, Youppi, and even the other mascots. But none of that mattered to Slapshot, he still had the rest of the All-Star Game to prove that pathetic bird that he was wrong.

He just had to beat Iceburgh at whatever they were going to be doing in the Mascot Showdown.

**Author's Note:**

> This is…undoubtedly, the best prompt I’ve ever gotten in my life! XD This was a gift for eafay70 who gifted me with a fic in honor of my “Frankenshirt” fic. So, in exchange, she requested that I write this for her. Hope you enjoy and I apologize deeply for the crack! Also, I really recommend you guys watch the Mascot Showdowns from the ASGs, they’re amazing!


End file.
